A prayer

The past two weeks have been pretty, um, interesting. I was talking to my mom last night and the subject of our conversation reminded me of a verse from Job.

Job 1:20-21 (NIV) says:
20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart. [c]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

I taught on this verse as the Chaplin of my sorority one week when I was going through similar circumstances as my family is facing now.
You see, this verse has always meant a lot to me because I strive to be like Job but always fall short. As a “fixer” I have a really hard time “letting go and letting God.” I tend to verbally “give it to God” and then snatch it back so that I can do it myself, fix it how I want it fixed and be in control of the situation. That’s my biggest vise. I am a control freak. I want it done my way and on my schedule. Allowing myself to be seen in my imperfections, my weaknesses exposed, even to the one, true, God who knows the very number of hairs on my head, who already knows my heart and my venerability, is still very hard. To completely expose yourself, and then to praise God in the midst of sorrow and grief and shame…what a way to experience the total and complete love of God. If only we could do that, then we might be able to see a light at the end of the preverbal tunnel.

That is my prayer; to be able to fall onto my face, and to still praise the name of the Lord.