Walk through the fire

I grew up watching movies like “Last of the Mohicans” and “Dances with Wolves” with my dad. There are many more movies like this that I’ve seen countless times. Often times in these movies about Native Americans someone has to run a gauntlet. I remember asking my Dad what a it was to “run a gauntlet.” He explained to me that running a gauntlet was a type of punishment or, an initiation into a group of people.
I think that running a gauntlet is a good analogy for the semester that I’m about to begin. I’ve yet to decide if it’s punishment or initation.

Last semester, as I was beginning my graduate school journey, I was scared that I wasn’t smart enough to be in grad school. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to balance school, clients, and a personal life. I learned a lot last semester; about the brain, about language development, about research, and about myself. I learned last year that it’s okay to take time for myself. It’s okay if I don’t make an A in every class. I learned that in times of stress, I should reach out to my loved ones instead of retreating into myself. I don’t have to give 100% of myself to everything. I can’t give 100% of myself to everything.
As I look at this next semester looming before me (it’s the hardest one they say), I’m clinging to those things I learned last semester. Some of those things are easier to do than others.
This situation reminds me of a song my Ginny Owens. Even though the song is talking about life trials, I feel like it relates to my time in school.

“If You Want Me To”
Ginny Owens

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to